About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
