i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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