Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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