so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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