if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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