i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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