i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
