i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize