Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Jake died.

  (310): View more from California

  WTF????????? That's how you tell me????

  (818): View more from California

  Oops typo. Jake cried.

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  (818): Jake died. (310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me???? (818): Oops typo. Jake cried. http://tfl.nu/zib8
  Replies (41) Good night (4991) Bad night (1468)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.

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  (360): I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster. http://tfl.nu/yojg
  Replies (13) Good night (4483) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days

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  (260): Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days http://tfl.nu/vj5z
  Replies (2) Good night (1878) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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  (570): My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station. http://tfl.nu/3ja7
  Replies (16) Good night (4264) Bad night (1881)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.

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  (410): I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part. http://tfl.nu/xejt
  Replies (5) Good night (1755) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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  (847): You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day http://tfl.nu/8r8f
  Replies (8) Good night (2196) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!

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  (847): Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild. (1-847): I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free! http://tfl.nu/lmxn
  Replies (3) Good night (1200) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?

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  (801): Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way? http://tfl.nu/h6qu
  Replies (4) Good night (1092) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.

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  (513): If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy. http://tfl.nu/099u
  Replies (7) Good night (1110) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.

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  (651): I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen. http://tfl.nu/sts0
  Replies (0) Good night (633) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.

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  (210): It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that. http://tfl.nu/m71m
  Replies (0) Good night (342) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...

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  (306): how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk? (1-306): you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you... http://tfl.nu/x6zk
  Replies (0) Good night (1400) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (650) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet

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  (856): We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet http://tfl.nu/nuyk
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics

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  (847): I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics http://tfl.nu/jc4w
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (334)

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