Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable