Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Experience is the best teacher

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish (248): Experience is the best teacher http://tfl.nu/l23g
  Replies (2) Good night (1709) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): put your butt on the phone this is a booty call http://tfl.nu/3vuo
  Replies (25) Good night (3026) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry" http://tfl.nu/fk1l
  Replies (21) Good night (11579) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way http://tfl.nu/xurx
  Replies (12) Good night (7318) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore http://tfl.nu/31xs
  Replies (7) Good night (1023) Bad night (3468)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight http://tfl.nu/88wf
  Replies (8) Good night (3614) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge. http://tfl.nu/w6ag
  Replies (5) Good night (2038) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up. http://tfl.nu/1td0
  Replies (4) Good night (1983) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again http://tfl.nu/9um4
  Replies (17) Good night (820) Bad night (2129)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever. http://tfl.nu/1wjc
  Replies (6) Good night (1848) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  that actually explains a lot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night (1-847): that actually explains a lot http://tfl.nu/hgfk
  Replies (3) Good night (1583) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/87a2
  Replies (4) Good night (2237) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going http://tfl.nu/4frq
  Replies (5) Good night (845) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt http://tfl.nu/5q8i
  Replies (5) Good night (461) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick. http://tfl.nu/jrjk
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (359)

Randomize