He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
one might say we're banned from that church
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.