Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends

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  (908): I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends http://tfl.nu/6cx1
  Replies (68) Good night (1403) Bad night (6478)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know she was great

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  (215): mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day (267): I know she was great http://tfl.nu/ms90
  Replies (26) Good night (6958) Bad night (1498)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.

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  (306): Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire. http://tfl.nu/uvyh
  Replies (10) Good night (3974) Bad night (1233)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.

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  (615): Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night. http://tfl.nu/na81
  Replies (10) Good night (903) Bad night (5338)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse

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  (404): On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse http://tfl.nu/4mlr
  Replies (3) Good night (3051) Bad night (958)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.

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  (610): At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch. http://tfl.nu/wzxh
  Replies (12) Good night (1176) Bad night (5322)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things

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  (302): my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things http://tfl.nu/xzcl
  Replies (2) Good night (1437) Bad night (805)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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  (773): Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/vvjh
  Replies (11) Good night (1515) Bad night (1048)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.

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  (781): Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds. http://tfl.nu/prwv
  Replies (4) Good night (1538) Bad night (587)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste

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  (904): after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste http://tfl.nu/9oa9
  Replies (3) Good night (1037) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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  (330): I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/wf9d
  Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (650)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab

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  (505): I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab http://tfl.nu/ok4v
  Replies (3) Good night (1126) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever

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  (407): I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever http://tfl.nu/eali
  Replies (3) Good night (580) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?

  (1+61): View more from

  Mobile recharge?

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  (+61): What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls? (1+61): Mobile recharge? http://tfl.nu/wf5a
  Replies (2) Good night (980) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.

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  (618): There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister. http://tfl.nu/tdo0
  Replies (7) Good night (1509) Bad night (734)

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