The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
