I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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