btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
