Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am available for nakedness
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize