Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
