Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
