I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
