so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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