i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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