Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize