I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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