dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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