It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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