dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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