I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
