You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
