I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm just crazy horny about you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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