I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
