She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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