You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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