Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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