You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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