And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
