How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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