HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
