i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
