Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
