So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
