she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
