I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
