I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
