So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
