then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why did my mother make you get naked?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
