I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Randomize
