well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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