I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
