Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
