It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
