We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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