I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
