You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
