after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
