Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
