she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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