ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
