once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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no more duck duck goose at the bar
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
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somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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